Scripture reading: Ephesians 5:22-33.

Sermon text: Ephesians 6:1-9.

Few things demonstrate hope in humanity like a wedding. Regardless of the tragedies of history, the uncertainties of economies, or the insanities of life, couples have fallen in love with one another and pledged their lives to each other since the dawn of time. Even Cain, the ultimate outcast, found a wife (Genesis 4:17).

The Ephesians of St. Paul’s time also believed strongly in marriage, even if their culture made allowances for the worship practices of Artemis, the fertility goddess. In the Greco-Roman culture of St. Paul’s time, the husband held absolute authority in the home. Not only slaves, but also the wife and children submitted their lives to the husband and father, who often literally held the power of life and death over those in his family.

When the Ephesian believers were born again, St. Paul introduced them to a new standard of living. (See last week’s sermon for details.) This standard, the standard God expected of them, transcended the sexual norms of first-century Ephesus because it required something of everyone in the relationship. Christianity brought an equality before God into the relationship, an equality ideally expressed in Christian marriage.

The passage we’ve heard today gives us the most descriptive and thorough treatment of family relationships you’ll find in any of St. Paul’s writings. In this passage, we see how those born again by the power of God will treat one another and uplift the Church in the process.

This passage really ties into verses 18-21, but we find the key verse of the previous passage in verse 21: “submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.” You cannot understand the rest of today’s passage unless you understand this verse.

Verse 21 tells us that every believer must subject themselves to others because of our love for Christ and recognition of His authority in our lives. Everything you see in today’s passage begins with a true recognition of our relationship with God the Father through Christ.

Christians cannot, in good conscience, adopt the standards of the world in our treatment of others. It disturbs me at how our society seems to objectify people. You’ve probably seen someone treat an attractive person with more courtesy than the wallflower beside the attractive person. You’ve probably seen how our media objectifies the attractive and uses them for commercial purposes. These practices appeal to our base instincts.

Christianity calls us to transcend those instincts and see everyone as Jesus sees them: As someone for whom He died. Jesus doesn’t see an attractive girl and say, “Wow, she’s hot;” Jesus sees someone He created for eternal joy and glory, someone with the potential to change the world. Jesus doesn’t see an attractive guy and say, “Wow, he’s a hunk;” Jesus sees a man He created for eternal joy and glory, someone He will call to love, cherish, and protect others through His power in that man’s life.

When we understand how much Jesus loves us — enough to die for us — the verses following verse 21 make much more sense to us.

St. Paul told the wives in the congregation, “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.” In a perfect world, every marital relationship would exist in perfect partnership, with both parties possessing equal authority. We don’t live in a perfect world. For reasons He considered best, God expects the husband to bear the responsibility of authority in the family. No man can possess this authority if the wife constantly undermines him, both in her own relationship with him and in the impression she leaves with their children.

Lest someone think the husband has the best end of the deal, St. Paul’s next words should cause us to pause. “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.”

Perhaps you’ve never noticed the difference here until now. Wives must respect their husbands; husbands must sacrifice for their wives, even to the point of death. Nowhere in Scripture will you find where God commands a wife to sacrifice her life for her family, but here He calls for husbands to bear that responsibility.

This passage brings more responsibility to husbands. St. Paul continued by reminding the husbands of the reasons for Jesus’ sacrifice: “That he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.”

This passage reminds men that physical desire alone cannot serve as a reason for marriage. Jesus expects Christian men to uphold their wives, to “sanctify” them. Men, everything we do in our relationships with our wives must serve to bring them to spiritual maturity. Everything we do in our marital relationships should make our wives more holy. We cannot sanctify someone we see only as an object for our desire. God expects more of us. God expects us to cherish our wives as we cherish ourselves. “As Christ does the church,” we must provide for and cherish our wives. We must consider our wives the greatest blessing God has given us short of our salvation.

This extends into the priorities of our relationships. Quoting Genesis 2:24, St. Paul called husbands to “leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife.”

I know that in our society today, many people make demands on our time and on our priorities. I’ve known people who think their workplaces would fall apart if they didn’t go to work. I’ve also seen the damage caused when people mistake their priorities and place friendships or other things above their relationships with their spouses. Wives, your husband is the greatest blessing God could give you aside from salvation through His Son. Husbands, God could never have blessed you with a greater privilege and responsibility than that of protecting and serving your wife.

When husbands and wives maintain a proper relationship before God, the other relationships will fall more naturally into place. St. Paul continued his letter by telling the children, “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.” Children, you may think most sermons have little to say to you, but this one certainly speaks to you. God has blessed you with parents who love and care for you. You have no idea what they endure at work and fret about at home to provide for you. They deserve your respect.

St. Paul actually reminded the Ephesian children of the Fifth Commandment (Exodus 20:12): “‘Honor your father and mother’ (this is the first commandment with a promise), that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.’”

Recently, one of my coworkers lost an aunt to death. This aunt lived to the age of 108! People often asked her how she lived so long. She always told them, “Honor your father and mother.” My coworker’s aunt never forgot the promise God made to those who honored their parents.

I want to stress something now: This doesn’t mean that disobedience brings a shorter life on its own. However, those who make a practice of disobeying their parents in childhood often disobey laws and authorities in their adulthood. They also disobey the commands of God to love Him and to love one another. Disobedience always demands its price. I’ve lived long enough to see the results of disobedience, and I’ve also lived long enough to see the blessings of obedience as conscientious children grow into adults with respect for themselves, for God, and for the authorities He places over them.

Part of raising children entails the decisions of the parents. “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” I’d remind us that both fathers and mothers must maintain consistency in our discipline; we must not arbitrarily set and revoke rules. Nothing exasperates someone, especially children, like uncertainty in the rules of the house. God has given us consistency: Love Him, and love others. We must also provide consistency in our homes and families.

The last passages in today’s text may not apply to anyone today in a master-slave relationship (Thank God!), but they still remind us of authority in our society today. In a real sense, the admonitions to the slaves here apply to those of us under authority in the workplace. We must work for our employers “as you would Christ, ...doing the will of God from the heart, rendering service with a good will as to the Lord and not to man, knowing that whatever good anyone does, this he will receive back from the Lord, whether he is a bondservant or is free.” Everything we do on our jobs will reflect on our Lord, either ill or well. We must treat our jobs as opportunities to serve our Lord, who served us on the cross with His death and beyond with His resurrection.

Those who wield authority in the workplace must remember that they, too, owe service to God. “Masters, do the same to them, and stop your threatening, knowing that he who is both their Master and yours is in heaven, and that there is no partiality with him.” Anyone with authority, even those at the top, must answer to someone, and one day we will all answer to God.

I think this passage reminds us of the importance of the family, and the proper authority in the family, in the strength of the Church. God has given us clear standards regarding His desires for families, and as Christians who have confessed Jesus as Lord, we have no right to attempt to redefine those roles or to abrogate our roles within the family.

Having said this, I’ve noted already that we do not live in a perfect world, and we certainly don’t live in a perfect society. Death takes parents from their children every day. In a perfect world, every marriage would end only in death; sometimes, for reasons we may never understand, marriages fail. Don’t consider St. Paul’s words as a condemnation in those circumstances. Some of us in our congregation were raised by single parents, or by abusive parents, or by people not even related to us by blood. Others of us have helped raise far more children than many parents would ever dream. I would also point out, emphatically, that God does not call everyone to the married lifestyle. I have friends who know God has called them to remain single so that they can serve Him more fully. (See St. Paul’s instructions in 1 Corinthians 7 for details; only remember that St. Paul wrote 1 Corinthians roughly 5 to 7 years before he wrote the letter to the Ephesians.)

I think, in those circumstances, we must look to a prime lesson in this passage. God has already presented Himself to us in Scriptures as our Father, the One Father who will never disappoint us, who always provides for and protects His people. Christ has already given His life for us and risen again from the dead for our salvation. God adopts us as His children and provides consistency in His word for us. Everyone who obeys Him will certainly enjoy long life; we will enjoy eternal life!

Regardless of your family status, remember that the Church serves as your eternal family, with Christ as our Head and God as our Father. The power of love, God’s love, will bring us, with our eternal family, to an eternal home, with no taint of sin or death. Anyone who calls on Jesus, confessing Him as Lord and believing in His resurrection (Romans 10:9-10) will find themselves an everlasting family, with everlasting joy promised to all who believe.